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"I don’t even know where to begin with this one. You know going into Turkmenistan that you will be experiencing something very different, but I’m not sure it’s possible to be prepared."
MASHAD, IRAN TO ASHGABAT, TURKMENISTAN:
"It is after all one of the least visited and most secretive countries on earth. Briefly, Turkmenistan is a natural gas and oil rich country that gained independence after the collapse of the Soviet Union and self proclaimed Turkmenbashi (head of the Turkmen) became its first leader. You may have heard some of the infamous stories such as changing the names of the days of the week, months and even a camel breed to names of himself and his family members or the daily public reading of his self written moral guide/holy book, the Rukhnama, or building an entire city made of marble and gold or mandating every car in the country be white or….the list is endless. The cult of personality is very much on full display in Ashgabat. I have never been anywhere like this. It is indeed a city of marble. everything is so wildly over the top and impeccably clean. It quite literally does not feel real. If you come here you will repeatedly ask yourself “what is this place??” That is not to say it’s unpleasant. It’s quite pleasant and has lovely cafes and restaurants, interesting markets, people (if you see any) are very nice, it feels safe and you can eat off the ground it’s that clean (street sweepers are apparently gifted “elite apartments” after time). It is also very clear we are no longer in Iran and in the land of copious amounts of vodka. Today we welcomed back those who opted to skip Iran and brought 9 new people into the fold! Our small truck family very quickly doubled in size! A really great group dinner out with our fantastic guide Michael ended our first day in the country. Much like the country, I don’t have words to describe Michael! Absolutely hilarious, vodka swilling man who loves his country and sure made it fun to be there. More on Ashgabat in the next post."
ASHGABAT BY DAY:
"Daytime city tour took us first to the National Memorial complex built to honor those who perished during WWII and the 1948 Ashgabat earthquake that destroyed the city and killed 10% of the population. The complex is monumental. Next was the National Museum which was also hosting school kids in the most beautiful uniforms of traditional dress. They were eerily well behaved. The museum was very interesting historically speaking, we learned of the ancient civilizations and cities that thrived here and were a major part of the Silk Road. We then visited the world’s largest indoor ferris wheel (Turkmenistan holds many a crazy Guinness world record) and it is ridiculous but oh was it fun. We were the only ones there and there were transformers outside for some inexplicable reason. On to the Turkmenbashi Mosque and Mausoleum. Nobody was surprised at the scale of this place. Nearby was his hometown so we also visited a gold statue of him there. There are several. Lunch time at the Russian bazaar concluded the tour. Michael had me try a few local specialties - some new to me, some not so new. You have your fermented, carbonated camel’s milk of course and dried balls of cheese (kurut) both standard central Asian fare, the twist here being they use camel’s milk being a desert country. I also tried a local dish called Dograma which is a sort of soupy stew made with pieces of bread, meat and onions. I worried I would have a beshbarmak situation on my hands (the worst thing I’ve ever eaten in my life), but alas it was absolutely delicious and comforting. Winner. Next taste was also delicious and new to me - sun dried melon. Who knew! Has even chocolatey notes. Speaking of chocolate notes, the local Turkmen cognac tastes of chocolate and cream even though it contains neither. It is delicious. Lastly I sampled 3 different caviars, extremely high quality. I was very surprised I enjoyed it. I’ve had violently bad experiences trying caviar in central Asian markets before! We thought we had seen plenty of weird up to this point, but we had yet to see the city at night!"
ASHGABAT BY NIGHT:
"Oh my goodness gracious. None of this can properly be captured on a phone, but it was like Vegas meets the capital in Hunger Games meets a fever dream. First we went to a mall to take in local life and have a quick dinner and the mall was cool AF actually. One of the best supermarkets I’ve ever been to in this part of the world (especially shocking considering how abysmal the shops were outside the city), fashionable club cafes, cool kids, etc Standard mall but with a Turkmenistan twist. First stop on the night tour was Independence Park. The park takes up half the city’s green space and the center piece is of course a golden statue of Niyazov. It’s all very in your face impressive in a wtf way. Which reminds me, Michael told us women aren’t allowed to drive until after 40!? apparently it is an informal law banning women drivers because they are blamed for all traffic accidents?! Anyway, next was the Olympic village and the world’s largest horse statue followed by the Palace of Happiness (wedding palace) that is a freaking giant disco ball. We also stopped at the Ruhnama Monument (I am desperate for an English language copy of this) and yeah that was our time in Ashgabat. I am speechless."
ASHGABAT TO DARVAZA GAS CRATER:
"I was prepared for bad roads and nothingness, but wow. Once you are away from the city it’s pot holes the size of Mars and strange little Karakum Desert outposts. I mean, how could there be money left after building a city out of imported Italian marble! Our destination was a very infamous one and for some reason the country’s biggest draw. Basically this crater (along with one of mud and one of water) was created when some Soviet gas exploration went wrong. The gas crater was set alight and simply never stopped burning. It is often referred to as the Door to Hell or Gates of Hell. It was pretty underwhelming in the light of day but whoa it did light up the sky at night (as did the stars). Truly spectacular. Also the camp was teeming with hedgehogs!! So cute. Worth the effort to come here especially as it won’t be around much longer. (We also played in some dunes, saw many camels and got very covered in desert)."
DARVAZA TO KONYE URGENCH BUSH CAMP:
"The road went from horrible to barely usable. Very long bumpy day to the bush camp. We stopped in a small town where we were photographed like celebrities. We could barely find a cold drink in the shops though and I’m pretty sure people would rather I not mention the toilets. A bit further, in literally the middle of nowhere, we found another shop that actually had beer, ice cream, cold drinks, vegetables and a fridge full of birthday cakes?!? An essential item for your desert road trips. Cook group actually did end up buying one because it would be rude not to! The stop was an essential morale boost. Welcome to overlanding new guys!! Straight into the hard stuff."
Uzbeskistan is next!